Darling Joyce, how proud you would be of your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren

Nan and I were always great correspondents, and her letters, containing stamps "so I wouldn't waste my own money on them" and with her familiar writing filling the pages, always lifted my spirits. I know Nan loved to receive letters, too, and I would often keep her updated with my goings on - always writing something different on the envelope that would make her laugh " 'To my delicious Nana'?! What will the postman say?!". I wrote this card the Saturday before she died, not knowing of course that this would be my last letter to her, and that she would never read the message inside. I read it at her funeral, and put the card with the coffin in the hope that she knew the contents. Her death has left such a great absence in our lives - I feel it is as if we have lost not only her, but also the people she remembered, like her brother Eric. I can't help but think of all the things I never asked her because I thought there would always be time, but our time together has run out. She was my one and only Nan - I love her so very much, and miss her kindness, her acceptance, her love and her pride in me, in all of us and our achievements. 31st January 2009 Dear Nan, I’m sitting in the little shop where I work on Saturdays for a bit of extra money, and it is rather quiet today so I thought I’d write to you. It’s been ages since I’ve sent you anything, and I do feel bad. My only excuse being that I speak to you on the phone more often nowadays. It was so lovely to see you on your birthday last week, Nan. 85 is quite an age and we are all very pleased you are still around! I’m always telling my friends how special you are. We were very lucky, Anty and I, that you gave up work when you did and we could spend so much time with you. I know Mum appreciated it too, especially when she had to work so much. I’m sure we were little brats sometimes, but you were always there to play in our games, heal our chickenpox and soothe us to sleep. You mean so much to me Nan and I just wanted to tell you that I love you very much. Anyway, I better go Nan, but see you soon, All my love, Charlotte xxx

I can’t really believe that Nan has gone. I have so many wonderful memories of her; As a small child arranging and rearranging her trinkets and boxes of surprises; being allowed to play dress up with her, to me, a very glamorous wardrobe; her distinctive high hair allowing us to pick her out from a crowd at the airport; lunch at the Beeb; a summer trip to Caithness; and the peppermint appearing from her handbag at just the point that a walk was losing its fun. As an adult there are many more which would include sitting on her patio on a hot afternoon drinking a gin and tonic chatting about this and that. Nan was always supportive, yet exerted no pressure or showed expectations for me to be anything other than I was and I always thought that everything came with absolute unconditional love. As you all know, Nan came to visit us last year in Oxford. I was proud to be able to show off my sparky independent Nan. Yet all that was changing and however saddened I am by Nan’s death, I am heartened by the fact that she was spared the decline into confusion and dependence that was beginning… And I am glad to have such good memories of her by.